2022

 Six months without a post.  Only to find out that Google, like the giant amoeba that it is, has swallowed Blogger.  But my google account didn't recognize it, so I had to figure out how to add my Comcast account to Google so that I could actually write a new post. Took about an hour to figure it out.  And now the wine has worn off, and I have no idea of what I was going to say.

Must get more alcohol.

I washed my hair today.  At least that's something.  I also sent copies of a video to a friend, shoveled out the chicken coop, repaired a perch that the peacocks like to use, and cleaned out the fridge.  I worked with IT at FSU to get access to my email (AGAIN - I'm switching to gmail but I need access to my FSU to transfer stuff over and keep losing it).  I took a walk. I read some of the teachings of Shams i-Trabrizi. Talked with a representative from Duke Electric about a tree they need to remove.  Had a FB chat with someone about doing a Facetime chat this weekend.  Made an appointment to take Tula to the vet.  That's a pretty productive day for me.

I wrote awhile back about trying to blog, just to leave something for 2022 Me to look at, to see where I was, to see if I was making any progress.  Well, managed not to do that for 6 months.  Time to do another brain dump.  Basically, I really do keep trying, but it's like trying to push that big rock uphill.  I keep getting squashed.

Sometimes I read back over my old posts. 6 months ago I was writing about nervousness of emerging from my Covid isolation, now that it was getting marginally safer to interact with people.  Wondering if I was using Covid as a reason or an excuse (why can't it be both?).  HAH!!  Delta variant came along.  Back to taking precautions.  That was getting better by October or so.  Then WHAM!  End of November and Omicron variant emerged and boy!  is this one transmittable.  Three of the six animal dept. staff have it (all vaccinated).  Nationwide there are more daily Covid cases than any time during the pandemic.

Again, why do I want to write?  Accountability.  I think of ads for Noom - the lifestyle change and weight loss program.  And the reason it works for (some) people is simply the accountability - you have a coach to check in with.  I'm lacking that in my life.  Honestly, if I wanted to, I could stay in bed all day with a bottle of rum and a box of cookies and it wouldn't affect any one at all (as long as I got up and fed the cats and chickens).  I haven't done that, but it's tempting.  Or I could get up and do all kinds of stuff and be super productive - and that wouldn't affect any one at all either - so it's hard to find motivation.   I need Other Me (like Yesterday Self and Tomorrow Self) to sort of be my Noom coach.

But now, because of the problems of even logging on to here, it's late and I'm tired and a bit frustrated and really just want to go to bed.  So - notes to myself.  What do I want to ramble on about - brain dump.  Get stuff out of my head.

People:  Ebaida, Randy, Adrienne

The Holidays.  And the three months of hell that I'm facing again.

Being Tired.  Long term tired.  My first year after I lost Bob I was in shock, but there was also a certain amount of frenetic energy.  And I dealt with the holidays by being angry and pissed off.  That gets exhausting - and I think I spent 2021 just being disconnected.

Editing Ebaida's books.  Helping out with an art film filming.  

Loss.  Three Peacocks and a Goldfish (sounds like the title of an Indie movie).  And worried about Tula.

Relationships with inanimate objects.  My cuddle pillow and my Google portal.

Reading. Eating. Drinking.

Indulgences.  Linen sheets and port pipes.  Goat cheese.

Losing people (thank goodness, no more deaths, knock wood.  But a diaspora of people leaving the area).

That's enough for now.  Hopefully, I'm back.  I've missed me.