Countdown

 The days are dragging.  A week from today Bug's leg will be gone.  I *hate* that they scheduled it 10 days in advance.  I wish I could have made this horrible decision and then taken him in the next day.
It's giving me way to much time to second guess myself.  I'm being a rat in a maze, running around and getting stuck in dead ends and the only path out is the one I don't want to take.  Everything I read about sarcomas - the best treatment for one on a limb is to remove said limb.  I even briefly thought about radiation therapy.  But a) a radiation burn is still a burn; b) it would take multiple trips to Shands in Gainesville for the treatment, over several weeks; c) there's no guarantee that it would work, or the leg would be saved; d) it would start a $10,000.   Basically, not an option.

I don't think Bug is in a lot of pain at the moment, but he's uncomfortable (partly because he doesn't like having his leg bandaged, and really doesn't like me changing it) and he's been living under the bed for the last week.  He does purr and wiggle and butt my hand if I reach under the bed to love on him.  I just wish he would come out and run around and jump on things while he can.

I was almost non-functional today.  I had my chiropractor appointment and then a visit with Gill afterwards.  My plan for this afternoon was to drag the big dog crate and has been holding opossums off the back deck, get it scrubbed, and put in the bedroom to be Bug's recovery area so he could get used to it.  The other thing was to box up the game camera to return it (I don't think I mentioned that.  I treated myself to a new game camera; the old one ate batteries, and the only way to look at pictures was to pull the sim card.  I wanted one that would Bluetooth to the phone.  In theory  the one I got should have done that; in practice, not so much so I have to return it).

Instead, I came home, had lunch - and took a nap.  Then I got up, had some coffee and read - and laid down again for a bit.  Eventually the camera got boxed up (I spent an ill-tempered half-hour trying to get the almost empty roll of packing tape to relinquish the last bit, using fingernails, scissors, and an Xacto knife before I gave up).

Meanwhile, my bridge - which I had adjusted a month ago) is acting up enough and getting quite painful.  But I just can't deal with that.  It's not a minor fix; the entire bridge has to come out, one of the teeth get recrowned, the back one pulled, and then after healing start an implant.  But even for the moment just getting the bridge pulled and the crown work done is too much - I'll see if I can live on ibuprofen and salt water rinses for a couple of weeks.

Poor Hamish has been acting strangely for the last week.  I think he misses RedBug, which is odd because they don't get along at all - there is always growling and yelling and sometimes I have to break up fights.  But maybe that was Hamish's idea of play because he's been walking around and talking a lot and even sitting on my lap (he is never a lap cat).  

I've been thinking about the weaver's guild meeting.  While I was there, I was feeling . . . inferior.  One was the house - which was beautiful and had an amazing kitchen.  I'm OK with that - the people who want groups of people to come over are usually the ones with beautiful homes.  But it was during the show-and-tell that I felt off.  Several people showed things they had been experimenting with - different dyeing techniques, or learning to draft card-weaving patterns, some other stuff.  And I felt like I've been being a lump (although I did at least make a pair of pants this week).

And once again - like I seem to do so much of the time, maybe I should cut myself some slack.  The bridge thing is hanging over my head (and now I'm thinking that I do need to see if I can get in because that tooth is feeling infected).  I got blindsided by RedBug - I mean, when you find a small bump on your cat, your first thought not that it's time to take off the leg.   And at least I successfully raised another opossum (Liam is almost big enough to release).   And maybe I should go to the guild meetings more than once a year to see if I can get inspired (there was a good amount of show-and-tell this time; previous times there hasn't been much).

At least tomorrow it's a museum day so that will fill some of the time and keep me from just sitting and staring at whatever screen presents itself.

Gonna be a long week.