2024 Recap

 In a few more hours it will be 2025.  In three more months it will be 5 years since I lost Bob.  There's something significant in that.  I remember in April 2020, shortly after I came home, sitting outside, sobbing, wondering how long I could live here by myself, be able to take care of things.  It just seemed so overwhelming.  I figured maybe 5 years before I would have to give up and move into town.

5 years late.  Physically, I'm healthier and stronger than I was.  The land is as good as it ever was, the house is actually tidier.  A lot of stuff that accumulated over 30 years is gone.  Basically, until something goes badly wrong, I get to keep my home.

The best Christmas gift I could have given myself is my stream.  I love having it back, and I love feeling empowered - I didn't have to sit there being sorry that I couldn't see my stream again; I could do something about it.

Empowered is a good word.  I've felt it more this year.  I saw a tree that was going to be a problem, so I cut it down.  I replaced a faulty light switch.  I crawled under the car to remove the damaged skirting, and got everything zip-tied together enough to keep driving until I could get it fixed.  I cleared out the area out front that had gotten completely overgrown and made space for wildflowers.  I pulled down the rotting fencing out front, and rebuilt the swing.  I repaired the chicken coop,  the mailbox, and built and installed new ceiling panels. I did storm prep (for storms that thankfully missed us)  I've gotten a lot of the stream path cleared.  

I've pretty much stopped the whining of "this shouldn't be my job."  Because this is my home, and it *is* my job.

I've been a little slack in the making.  I knit a shawl, made the skeleton bird that perches on my shoulder and moves his head, sewed a  skirt (which I don't like and have to remake), made a new swing, and knit a pair of mitts.  I started another Mari Lwyd but didn't finish it yet.  I cleaned up the kalesa lamps but I haven't done anything with them yet.

I think the big thing for 2024 was to embrace my introversion.  After I lost Bob, I thought I would have to "replace" him with a bunch of new friends.  But I've never been particularly social, and trying to rebrand myself just didn't work.  I've stopped pushing myself - I'm fine being alone, and doing stuff by myself.  That's where my life is now - in the future, who knows?

Sum total of "doing things with other people" (in addition to my 8 days a month at the museum)

Jeff came into town 4 times (most recently with Rob)

I went to two events at the museum.

The FSU circus with museum friends (one of our volunteers was performing)

Lunch with Suzie and Ashlyn after working on chicken coop

Lunch with Judy when I went to get new chicks

A trip to a yarn store in Thomasville with Adrienne

Rob and Amanda came into town

One weaver's guild meeting

An SCA event

The trip with Michael

Thanksgiving with Rik and Christy

Dinner with Suzie, Shelby, Mike Jones, and a couple of other people

A book discussion at the library

So doing something with other people at least 1-2 times a month.  Plus my work at the museum 2 days a week, and I usually go see Gill after my monthly chiropractic appointment.

Honestly, not bad.  Throw in that my nephew Rob calls me every week or two, and I talk to Mike and Margo every couple of weeks.  So I haven't become a recluse or a hermit.

On my own, I went to the Highland Games, a theatre production, another circus, a Broadway songs presentation by school students, and the ComicCon at the library.

From time to time, I've started a blog post with an epigram or quote that I've seen somewhere.  The one that really gave me pause was:

"If you do not admit kindness from others, you cannot be too surprised when they fail to offer any."

 The hardest thing for me to do is to admit that I might need help.  But I'm learning to accept it.  When one of my outlets in the cottage stopped working, and putting in a new one didn't fix the problem, I was going to hire an electrician, but instead Rik and his friend Steve came over, checked out all the wiring, and decided that I just needed a new circuit breaker (which Rik picked up for me so I would have the right one).   After my chickens were killed by raccoons, and I thought I had rebuild the chicken coop sufficiently, Suzie offered to come over to check it out, and Ashlyn joined her.  Not only did they go over it, they fixed the problems that they found (and we all went out to lunch afterwards).  This last week, I needed some more chicken feed, which comes in 50 pound bags.  I usually take it home and then offload it into my feed buckets.  But my left arm is still healing, and I'm trying not to strain it.  I probably could have managed it, but instead I tossed a couple of feed buckets into the car and asked Rik and Christy to offload the feed into them for me.

There is another quote that I saw somewhere to the effect that it is a kindness to let someone help you.  I had to let that sink in - but it's true.  It feels good to help someone.  It's just easier to be the one doing the helping.  I have to realize that being helped isn't a sign of weakness.

So that about sums up 2024.  In the next couple of days I'll decide what my intentions (rather than resolutions) are for 2025.

For now - Happy New Year.