Went Out Into The World

 I went to Infinity Con on Sunday.  It's a small local con, mostly for the gaming/cosplay community.

I really debated this - both internally, and on Facebook, where I got input in both directions. 

I've been "following the science" for over a year now.  The science that said stay away from people, wear a mask if you have to be around people, limit indoor activities - because there is an invisible thing out there that could make you seriously ill (with repercussions that could last for months) or even kill you.

So I've been good.  There are times when I would have loved to go grab lunch somewhere, or go to the Shakespeare in the Park, or the Art in the Park.  Because this "bereavement in isolation" has been effing *hard.*  I've read all the suggestions for handling bereavement - which say don't isolate yourself, get together with your friends, go out and do something, maybe try something new.  All of those things to help me heal - and which were forbidden by the CDC.

So I'm a mess.   But I've gotten used to it.  It's my way of life now.  It's like having an operation, and then not doing the physical therapy afterwards, and developing scar tissue that keeps you from moving.

And now the science - which I've been following - is telling me that the invisible killer is backing off a little.  That it's reasonably safe to move.  It's hard to wrap my head around it.  My friend Joe Fisher coined the term CRAP - Covid Retro Anxiety Paranoia. 

So was Covid-caution a reason to deny myself going to the Con - or an excuse?  

I decided it was an excuse.  So I went.  And I had a blast.

I've been talking (online and phone) to friends about feeling sorry for people in the entertainment industry because this Covid is hurting their souls.  Entertainers entertain - it's who they are.  I was listening to an online concert - and the singers were saying that there are three parts to it - the music, the singers, and the audience.  And a third was missing.  They were making beautiful music, and saying that they hoped someone would listen.   And people would.  In a couple of weeks, after it had been edited and posted, there would be written comment - the equivalent of a thumbs-up.  Somehow not the same as having a live audience applauding and waving their phone lights (remember the Old Days when people would hold up their cigarette lighters?)

And now I realize why I have such sympathy (because, honestly, in real life I don't go to concerts or theatre that much).  It's because I Am A Maker.  I make things.  And what makers do it make stuff, and show it to people, with luck to other makers - who go oooh and ahhhh and how did you do that and if you're lucky ask you how you did it and show you how they made whatever and you exchange ideas.  It's why Bob would go to Jacksonville or Georgia to a scale model conference - just to meet other modelers.

Making something cool and then setting it on a shelf (maybe posting it on Facebook and getting some likes) isn't the same.  And last year I made a really nice dragon puppet.  Which very few people have seen.

I took a deep breath, loaded Dragon into the car, and went (I even made a mask that matched the dragon).  Con are fun; they are not like other gatherings because there is an air of make-believe to them.  It's perfectly acceptable to walk around with a dragon and find yourself chatting with SpiderMan or Harry Potter.  It's an opening to talk with strangers without any awkwardness.  I had a delightful chat with a young woman, dressed in pink with kitty-cat ears and tail about her hobby (and small business) of going to pet shops to get animals that had died of natural causes or gathering remnants of road kill (competing with vultures) to preserve and sell them (really wish I gotten the name of her Etsy shop but I think she doesn't do it anymore).  She did it with respect - regarding it as letting their life continue.

I also got the same feeling with the Dragon (Cerridwen) as I do at the museum when I walk around with an owl.  One, to be honest, it's an ego boost - I am the Person With The Owl (or Dragon).  But the other is that it becomes a random gift to people.  At the Museum, people know that there is a place they can go to at 11:30 or 1:30 and someone will bring out an animal and talk to it.  But it's quite another thing to just be walking around and suddenly be face-to-face with an owl.  Or a dragon.  It's that little bit of magic, that sudden "oooooh" that people give.  I love those moments - it's like giving a gift.

So yes, people took pictures of Dragon, and selfies, and wanted to pose with Dragon.  I was even the feature picture for the newspaper coverage.   I talked with creative people.

I had fun.  There hasn't been much of that in the last year.  Nice to know it's still possible.