Post Christmas

 Well, I made it through Christmas.  I even did The Things - put up a few decorations (bows on the gargoyles), ate fruitcake, drank eggnog.  Going through the motions.  At the moment, they don't really mean anything for me, but doing them keeps the spot open for the day they might mean something again.  Sort of like if you go to the ER and they put in an IV with just saline so it's there in case they need to put in something else.

I noticed two things on my part that seemed unrelated until I analyzed them.  One - I recently developed this tendency to check my email and FaceBook as soon as I got home from work.  Meaning not even waiting to get into the house and my laptop.  I would pull into the driveway, park, and just sit there with my phone.  There's never anything important; I was just doing idle flipping until I got hungry or my bladder demanded attention.

The other thing I found myself doing was sleeping on the couch.  When it was time for bed it was easier just to stretch out on the couch instead of going to the bedroom. I even slept better - no 3:00 wakeups wondering what I was going to do with my life.

There is a connection between the two - it's the holiday loneliness.  I simply didn't want to walk into the house after work with no one to greet me, and no one to talk to besides the cats.  As for the couch - there is a feeling of security of having something solid against my back, instead of the emptiness of the bed.

Bug continues to be withdrawn.  I wasn't able to get him out for two days (he avoids me by being under the bed in the very middle.)  Today I used kitty treats to get him close enough to drag him out to wash his face (he can't groom it any more), brush him (which he likes), and then I made him sit with me on the couch for an hour.  He seemed content enough to be snuggled - but the moment I had to get up for a minute to check something in the oven he was back under the bed again.  

I felt a frustration with myself today.  I saw a post on FaceBook that there is a place that is starting beginning clogging lessons.  I always thought that clogging would be a lot of fun.  Then I saw the time and place - 6:30 (it's dark here by 6:00) and, like everything else seems to be - way on the other side of Tallahassee.  I had to ask myself if a clogging class (which would likely last an hour) would be worth a 50 mile round trip in the dark both ways.  At the moment the answer is no.  I did leave a comment to the effect that I hoped they would do this again in a few months when it's lighter, or maybe even offer a day course.  And I've saved the information

Last post I mentioned doing dye experiments.  I wanted to dye yarn to go with the colors/feeling of this picture of my stream (it had rained so the water had tannin in it, and the sunlight hit it just right.

It took time and sampling to get the dye colors more-or-less right, and now I've spent two days rather tediously dyeing the variegated yarn.  My pan isn't big enough to do more than one skein of yarn at a time without overcrowding, and it's a three hour process (soak the yarn for an hour, heat it for an hour, let it cool for an hour) and I've got six skeins.  I should be able to finish tomorrow.  It's ridiculously time consuming, but the results are frickin' gorgeous and they *feel* like the picture.  I'll try to get a decent picture of them.

So that's winding down the year.  Over the next couple of days I'll do my 2025 summary, and then take a deep breath and head into 2026.