Another Circus and Nostalgia

 Ebaida said that I go to more circuses than any adult she's ever heard of.  What can I say?  I like them.

I hadn't planned on going to this one - it's the FSU circus, which is really good but I went twice last year.  But this is the last time Faith (who used to volunteer at the museum) would be performing (she's graduating) and a crew from the museum were going to go see it.

I had already had a mammogram (such fun) scheduled for that afternoon, which gave me some time to kill.  The imaging center is near Michael's Craft store, and I needed some more copper paint.  Bob and I used to go to Michaels (or Hobby Lobby) once every month or two "while we were out."  This was only my second time since I lost him.  I wrote about the first time a couple of years ago - when I had to be careful of my breathing and get out of there before I broke down, because I could almost see him there.  This time all the memories were there, but I was calmer about it.  I was thinking, however, that while I did look at stuff, and got my paint, and even a bird house for Dingo the squirrel, the sense of fun, potential, and "look at this" wasn't there.

I was thinking that said enthusiasm must have been one of the Bob things.  Then I thought - did I really believe that if positions were reversed, and he was the one in there alone, would he have been excited?  Likely not - so it was one of those things in the "Bob and Ann" overlap in the Venn diagram.

I finished that, went and had some dinner, and then headed to the circus because the parking lot fills up quickly.  I was quite early - I thought about just sitting in the car and reading, but it was a lovely afternoon so I took a walk.  It felt really strange.  I first came to FSU in 1971, and then returned and worked there 1982-2015 - and so much of it was now so unfamiliar.  I haven't been on campus much since I retired, and always on the other side.  My offices were always over there, as was Bob's his last few years.  There are a lot of buildings where there used to be open areas and roads (at least they built them with brick and old-style architecture).  But there are also walking esplanades where there were streets, and everything is beautifully landscaped.  I had to smile at one area of lovely greenway, complete with picnic tables, with a low depression running through it.  That used to be an open drainage ditch, called Budweiser Creek, that we use to make the ROTC pledges go slogging through.

Bob's workshop, a small outbuilding, was still there, unchanged (at least on the outside).  Even the cement picnic table where we had many lunches was still in place.  But, again, I wasn't triggered, or crying.  Just having thoughts like it was a lifetime lived by someone else.

Anyway, on to the circus, which is really a good one considering that it's all students.  And for once, I got to sit there with a group of friends to enjoy it, which was nice for a change.

I spent a couple of days sorting and washing a fleece that I got recently (I think I just like collecting wool).  Tonight I was social yet again - the annual volunteer appreciation party.

I have also been laughing at what I call the new "art installation."  Yesterday an armchair appeared not far from my mailbox, sitting on the edge of the road.

One would think that if it had fallen off a truck, it would not have landed upright and facing the road, and would have looked a little more beat up.  It's slightly tricky to drive around it to get to my mailbox, but it amuses me, and I'm curious to see how long it stays there.