Bored!

 I realized today that it is just possible that I am bored.

I do keep busy.  And there is always stuff that needs to be done (I've had a hole in my ceiling ever since it caved in a couple of years ago because of the roof leak.  I have the luan and wallpaper to make a new panel but it just hasn't happened yet).  The yard is a complete overgrown mess because it's been raining every day for what seems like the last 10 years now (I'm reminded of the Ray Bradbury story "All Summer In A Day.") I  still haven't finished going through Bob's room, although I had a couple of friends come over and grab stuff from the room and a bit from the barn - and I've barely touched the barn.  I have a weaving project on the loom (a handspun ruana - sort of like a poncho).  Last week I went to Dane's housewarming - he and his girlfriend just got their first apartment together and he invited me to the party.  I just happened to have some cotton yardage on the loom and I wove it off and made dishtowels for them.

So yeah - I'm keeping busy.  Somehow that's not the same as *doing* anything.

I had such plans two years ago, when I first came back and had the high chaotic energy of trauma.  There used to be adult exercise classes at the Community Center - I would do that.  I wrote about getting my little drum and thought I would learn enough to join in on drum circles.  Maybe take a dance class (tap, clogging - anything that didn't need a partner).  Maybe take one of the art classes offered at the senior center.

Have I actually done any of those things?  Why, no.  Because Covid shut them all down.  Two years and change later - they're still not there.

I almost joined in on one thing.  A bookstore was offering an audio book and Knit Night - bring whatever fiber craft you want and listen to a book.  It sounded like fun.  I *almost* did it.  And then didn't - because it's about 20 miles away and I'd be driving through downtown in the dark and in the heavy rain to come home.

I check the FaceBook events page to see if there's anything I'm interested in.  A lot of it is online - and I've had enough of that in the past couple of years.  A great number of the events take place in bars at night- I don't drink outside of the house and I don't like driving in the dark.  It's too hot (and these days, rainy) to do much outside.

It's almost August.  In Years Gone By, this is when Rob and Jeff and Bob and I would really be gearing up to plan the Haunted Trail and start doing pre-builds and costumes and props.  Now Rob and Jeff are in Tennessee and Bob is even farther away and the Museum isn't doing the Halloween Howl at all anymore so I can't even get involved in it somewhere else.

It seems like anything that I come up with gets thwarted somehow (or I make what seems like a reasonable excuse, like not wanting to drive at night in a downpour).  I keep busy.  I talk to Michael and Margo about once a week, and Rob calls me every few days to tell me what the family is doing.  I read a lot.

But I'm starting to think that after two years and change of "keeping busy" that I might actually be getting bored.